trope (n.) - a figure of speech using words in a nonliteral way.

FATHER, MOTHER, SON are all seated at the kitchen table. SON who has only half eaten his meal, gets up to throw it away.

FATHER

What are you doing?

SON

I'm done.

FATHER

Son, I've told you a million times not to waste food.

SON

No you haven't.

FATHER

What do you mean, I haven't. I told you just yesterday to finish your dinner.

SON

But you haven't told me a million times. You said you've told me a million times not to waste food. And that would be impossible.

MOTHER

Well, not impossible.

SON

That would be improbable, then.

MOTHER

Certainly improbable.

SON

[takes a calculator out of his bag]

I'm 14 years old. And for all the days you've known me, 365 days times 14 years, if you told me once a day not to waste food from the time I was born until now, you would only have told me not to waste food 5,110 times.

FATHER

I didn't mean...

MOTHER

He's right, dear. [getting out her own calculator] Even if you did tell him not to waste food three meals a day that would only be [punching in the numbers] 15,330 times.

FATHER

Yes, but...

SON

[finishing his calculations]

You would have to tell me to stop wasting my food 195.6 times a day.

MOTHER

[finishing her own computation]

Point .7. Remember to round up, dear.

SON

195.7 times a day. That's 8.1--

MOTHER

Point .2--

SON

8.2 times an hour. That's once every 7.3--[looks to his mother; his mother nods]--7.3 minutes you would have had to say to me "stop wasting your food" from the exact moment I was born--

MOTHER

Your birthday was last week, dear.

SON

That's right - so from the time I was one week old until this exact moment in time, you would have had to say to me "stop wasting your food" regardless of whether or not I was wasting food, eating food, looking at food, or even in the same room as food, and that, my dear sir, while certainly not impossible--

MOTHER

No, not impossible.

SON

Is highly improbable.

With that, the SON dumps his food in the trash can, places his plate in the sink, and exits.

Pause.

FATHER

This is why I never say anything.

MOTHER

That's not true, dear. You don't never say anything. In fact, you just said something just now.

FATHER begins banging his head on the kitchen table.

MOTHER

So you see, dear, it is quite untrue to say that you never say anything for by saying you never say anything you are, in fact, saying something. [pause; notices his banging] Dear? [he keeps banging] Dear?

Blackout.